I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
