i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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