she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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