why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
