another moral hangover. fuck.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
