Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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