Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
