ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
