Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
