Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize