I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize