well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
