Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
