this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I intend to get homeless drunk
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
