She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
