You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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