Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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