If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
