I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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