glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
