I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
