The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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