Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
