when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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