At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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