I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
