Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
that's an acceptable place to lick
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
