Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
