Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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