Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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