Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
