When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
