Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
