Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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