Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
