called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
