Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize