So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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