I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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