dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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