Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
