Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
