that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
