I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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