Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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