Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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