PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
