You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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