So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
