Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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