I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
