Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize