I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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