I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize