Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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