That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
