We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
