Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
