Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
