Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
