I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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