Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
