Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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