so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
